Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Aquarius Male

As Healing Universe has moved, and with it, this blog, you can no longer make comments on this article here. However, you CAN make comments on this article in its new home:

The Aquarius Male




Many of you readers have written me asking for more information on the sign of Aquarius and in particular on Aquarius men. I suspect it is the influence of Neptune transiting the constellation Aquarius and seeking clarity that is bringing forth calls for understanding of the inner workings and outward behaviors of Aquarius men. Please feel free to post any questions or thoughts you have. And so, by popular request....


The Aquarius Male

The Aquarius male is a seemingly unconventional and innovative flirt who can charm those around him. Liking to surprise others, he is unhappy if he feels his freedom is being diminished. He believes his way of doing anything is the most superior way. His ego is not out in the open like a Leo, but it is as big as that of a Leo. He can be very argumentative, liking to debate things or fabricate WILD untrue stories just to irritate others and to show off what he believes to be his superior intellect. The best strategy, most times, is to laughingly feign belief in and shock at his wild story and go along with it, asking questions etc.

The Aquarius male enjoys social interaction and like to be known for impressing groups of people for a good cause, thus a partner who also has these capabilities, is desired.

Appearing to be an open-minded person, he can be willing to explore unlimited horizons within limit, so long as it fits his idea of fairness or does not make him stand out in a negative way in his community.

But remember this: in any relationship with an unevolved and immature Aquarius male, he can coolly and quickly sacrifice your name and reputation or let you suffer in some way if he thinks standing by your side will make the public at large dislike him. Yes, he can throw you to the wolves.

This man typically is not classically attractive but can be, as in actor Paul Newman. But, if he has strong Aquarius energy or an Aquarius Ascendant, he can have bucked, crooked and broken teeth, a large nose with a bump in it, droopy eyelids/sleepy eyes, and a long neck and a long face like Ichabod Crane and this quirky physical appearance will somehow be somewhat attractive. It will be especially attractive, of course, to a woman who has a tendency to fall for unusual looking men. As with all Aquarius’ they need to watch out for injuries to the calves and ankles.

In intimate relationships, they are not very intimate. Aquarius males are great with the future and progressive thinking, but not so good the past. This is because 99% of Aquarius males have a paternal (father) situation where their father was absent from home a lot, abusive, alcoholic or a drug addict, commonly known for having sexual affairs and a cold, empty marriage with the mother, and as a result the Aquarius male never received guidance and instruction on being a warm and loving man in general and especially not with a woman. They feel “different”, sometimes to the point of weirdness and other times to the point of egoism (superiority). At the base of it is deep insecurity and fear at not being competent, loved and not being accepted. He grows up feeling inside that he cannot express himself in an intimate loving relationship with another individual…so he opts for focusing on the masses.

Due to innate insecurities and fears of not being competent, loved and accepted, they maintain a wall of defense, not allowing even someone they like or love to get too close. In close relationships, conflicts naturally occur – but this closeness does not get to occur with the Aquarius male. He would rather make a joke of things and begin talking about another topic to escape dealing with any topic which may cause emotions to be expressed. He will label emotional expression as “illogical”, “unnecessary” and “irrational”. He commonly will label YOU as “illogical”, “irrational” or “unreasonable” for expressing emotions. He is then likely to walk out of the room and refuse to discuss the topic at hand.
When he is angry, the Aquarius male will not yell or otherwise obviously show it. Instead, he will become very MEAN and say mean/cruel things that he knows or thinks will hurt you, with a glib smile. Then he will airily say he needs to go, and leave the room or hang up the telephone. He is also quite capable of doing something very mean to you out of anger.

Aquarius males like to talk about honesty and truth but it is always their truth and their version of honesty that is important. They can be quick to label you as dishonest or say that you do not know or speak the truth. This is also because they are by nature distrustful. This also means you must be wary of the Aquarius penchant for lying—lying done with a glib smile and intellectual air.

The Aquarius male tends to approach sex intellectually. He is awkward and uncomfortable about expressing his love through physical gestures. Actual physical sex may not occur for a very long time in a relationship with an Aquarius male. He likes to talk about fantasies and desires and share thoughts with a lover. He is inherently curious and so when sex finally occurs, he likes to experiment creatively between the sheets. They appreciate a confident sex partner.

It is when you are an outstanding (prominent or unusual) individual that he will notice you. The Aquarius male likes to collect “friends” who he may call friends but even after many years are only acquaintances, even if he accompanies them on short trips or camping, picnics with them, lets them stay in his home or has dinner with them once a month or so. He is merely being sociable. He prefers being alone in his home with his quirks that he thinks others will not accept from him. If he likes you, you are one of the MANY people he has generally befriended and that is not necessarily a bad thing as he can make such people feel they are receiving special attention from him.

Here is a prime Aquarius male trait, especially where it concerns women: he behaves in the exact opposite way that he is feeling inside. You see it is when the Aquarius male likes you way too much (as in, falling in love with you) that he has noticed you clearly and separated you from the crowd in his mind and heart. This means he has found you to be intellectually, emotionally (!!) and physically someone he desires.

Does this mean the Aquarius male will romance you? Not naturally!! In fact, because he has fallen in love with you he will likely cancel or forget or show up ridiculously late for appointments you have made for 1-1 activities (such as dinner). He will prefer public and group gatherings and at those he is prone to ignore you, not talk to you yet talk to everyone else, flirt with other women, and he is likely to tell his male buddies reasons why he does not trust you, and why he seemingly avoids you. But when no one else is looking, he is watching YOU at the party or other social event. He is collecting information on what significant people think of you. If you are a woman who is extroverted, gregarious, smiling, popular, intelligent and attractive (especially if you are of a different ethnicity, nationality, unusual in dress or appearance etc) he is following you around the room and at other times he has his ears open for any news about you. He is filing it all away in his mind because he wants to be able to “surprise” you with all the information he has gathered about you.

However, this is not a two-way street with the Aquarius male. He likes to “know” you but does not want you to know him or anything about him. If you let him know that you know anything about him he will make jokes, laugh, deny, and change the subject, especially desiring to turn it back to a discussion about you and what he “knows” about you.

When an Aquarius male ignores you, ignore him in return. He will get the message that if he wants to connect with you he must be mature and fair by acknowledging and talking with you. At that point, if you want to deal with this man any more, explain to him privately that he needs to relate better to you and lower his guard.

The Aquarius male is very obstinate and will hold to a position or opinion unless he 1) is confronted with the fact that it is unfair or inhumane or 2) realizes he is being unfair or inhumane. Sometimes he merely likes to see if he can “wind up” someone by resisting whatever they ask.

He is in his head often and spends a lot of time alone. When there is a conflict or potential for one he can run away, or at least say he needs to go for a (long…hours long) walk or ride alone. Leave him along and let him have his solitude. When he returns he will be in a much better mood, having resolved things in his mind and decided that things will be fine.

He has trouble coping with individual relationships because they require him to be authentic on a deep level. If lacking in maturity, he may be so unconscious of his behavior that he gets himself mentally wound up in fear of being alone with you and show up an hour or more late to meet you, and then only to cancel. Let him…and then do not make another appointment with him nor allow him to make one unless he states upfront that he will make the time for it.

The Aquarius male can be particularly emotionally cold, verbally mean and quite selfish. They will quickly and cheerfully do something for others, as long as it has no impact on their life. If still very stuck in their ego and immature, they will strongly resist doing anything to help another person if it will mean a sacrifice of time, money or emotional commitment.
This emotional abandonment can leave any woman he is in a relationship with feeling rather uncared for and she is likely to leave the Aquarius – which typically baffles the unevolved Aquarius male
When he has become adult and evolved, the Aquarius male can move beyond these childish habits and be a superior intimate who is very committed (Aquarius is fixed energy). He will still ignore a woman he likes, at first, because he is shocked that he could care for one woman above all others. But once he lets his guard down, he will be an extremely considerate lover and best friend.

The women that Aquarius men desire are complex, mysterious, unusual, intelligent, and usually very caring and emotionally warm (in opposition to him!!) even if cool on the outside. She must be a woman who is a fighter and can hold her ground. He may outwardly claim that he likes women who are unobtrusive, blend in with the crowd and everyone likes them, but in reality he likes the outstanding, feisty, dramatic woman whose inner life is a mystery, whose motives and moves are complex and mysterious and who cannot be controlled and tamed. This is also the woman with whom he will compete because he likes challenges with her, even though he innately feels he is dominant to her and/or superior in some way He wants to be the man who is partnered with the woman everyone else wants to get close to and call friend/lover/wife.

Speaking of a wife, the Aquarius male is, especially in the late 20th/early 21st centuries, the man you will find shucking and jiving, ducking and covering, hiding and running from marriage. The sentence 'I love you' will take a long time to come from his mouth and even after that; don't expect the issue of marriage to pop out soon. If he is unevolved and immature he will lie or make up any excuse he can think of, to avoid it for as long as he can. The Aquarius male, more so than many others, can justify in his head having one or more extramarital sexual affairs, claiming it was not his intention or “it just happened” etc.

The sexually and emotionally dishonest cheating of the unevolved and immature Aquarius male (selfish, mean, dishonest) can even be the cause of a divorce, but he will quietly refuse to be the person who files for the divorce, because he wants his partner to be the one to “look bad” in the eyes of family, mutual friends, and acquaintances by filing for divorce against the “good guy Aquarius”.

Because of the fear of intimacy of a 1-1 daily relationship with a woman, the Aquarius male is very likely to move his girlfriend or family to a foreign country where he has social and professional advantage and can spend more time in the company of others than with her; OR he may look for or create a job in another country so that he is not home very often. It would not be unlikely for him to justify having sexual affairs while he is working overseas. It is not uncommon to find a marriage involving an Aquarius husband where the wife only sees him a few days a month to attend a cocktail party or a Sunday family dinner (to keep up appearances!)

Commonly, even prior to the 20th/21st centuries, the Aquarius male frequently divorced many times, unable to commit to marriage due to his quirks and habits. In present times, the Aquarius male may is likely to be more conscious about his fear of commitment to another person and his fear that he will be forced to spend long amounts of time with one person. He will reach his late 20s sexually inexperienced and emotionally naive about relationships with women. Courting is a puzzle to him and he moves slowly. He usually looks for a female who is his best friend. He will coolly hide his feelings of jealousy, which he WILL feel because he tends to choose as his mate woman who has her own popularity and entourage, so to speak.

If you are a woman who chooses to give an Aquarius male your time and energy for a significant period of time, one day, he will realize that his friends are moving in together, having babies, and marrying. Feeling left out of the crowd or that he must solve the mystery of marriage or even better yet, the mystery of you. Of course he realizes there is no guarantee that you can be uncovered and solved, but he is stubborn enough to spend decades married to you and delving into the mystery.

As his female partner, you will never worry about money. The Aquarius male will always secure money, through work or investments. Do not be extravagant with money or he will feel hurt. Having good finances is important to him. He can be very stingy on the extras but you will never lack for basics of having shelter, food, insurance, medical care and transportation. He will support you in working in an unusual profession or not making a regular salary as part of his Aquarius quirkiness. He will have outbursts of generosity every now and then. As fathers, most of Aquarian males are patient with their children and encourage them to play and fantasize. They are particularly excellent at helping their children with mathematics and science homework.The Aquarius male will be very reluctant to say so but in large part he married you so that he could have you around him all the time, loving and caring for him. He loves you, too, and hopes you know it. An Aquarius male seldom forgets his first love, the female who makes him feel special. He may not be so romantic, but every now and then, he comes up with such beautiful lines that you feel as if you are soaring in the sky. He may not want to celebrate his birthday or big fussy holiday occasions but suddenly he will say something so meaningful to you that you can excuse his earlier neglect (remember his charm?).


As Healing Universe has moved, and with it, this blog, you can no longer make comments on this article here. However, you CAN make comments on this article in its new home:

The Aquarius Male


ebanie said...

i always fall for aquarian males but its always hot and cold does my head in really and i think thats why i like them cos i cant stand push overs,

it is best not to chase an aquarian male?? will this annoy him??? or will he secretly love it??

what turns them off?? should you tell them if you like them?? or will that ruin it cos the chase would maybe be over??

do they like funny people? they always tell me im funny?? is this good haha

very keen for some more fantastic advice


Sunita Dillip said...

I am with an aquarius man and almost everything said here match to him. If you are looking for love, attentions,and giving this is not a man to be with. Good for casual relationship and friendship only.... And they do not like to be shase too hard, it annoys them and turn them off completely. My aquarius is still running after me for 1.5 yrs because I don't chase after him but I often tried to leave him. But, he wouldn't leave. I know he loves me alot but he does not know how to show love....

Eunice said...

I need help. My boyfriend is a class A Aquarian..I am a Gemini and forthe most part all is perfect. Except that he just left me because I am not giving him emough space. At least thats what I think he said. We have been together for 3 years and love each other very much. What do I do while he's taking some space? And no..there's no-one else in the picture. That is the first thing people ask but he's not that kind of person. Do I just go on with my life and shut him out like evertyone says or do I respond to his messages about missing me? I want him back.

ebanie said...

in finally got an aquarian male and he feel inlove and smothered me! i was expecting hot cold but it wasnt he was just always the same person boring! his rising was pices, but if your aqua needs space give it to him, he will come back they always do. have patience, they have lots of patience so they will expect you to have it to. good luck

ebanie said...

ps im with a cancerian now, never use to like them cos they are moody, but its so good that he is moody keeps me on my toes which i need otherwise ill walk all over them he is sweet and humble, never doin an aquarian again find them acctually really annoying now haha

corey said...

this is so true because im a aquarian male... yes we may seem cold becuase we hide our emotions. dont know why but thts just how we feel safe and thts why we keep our guard if you like us please dont tell us right there on the spot with yur friends around you b/c we will dodge yur every presence... let us get to knoe you more say about for 4yrs...lolz... and now for out anger...please dont get on our bad side b/c we will become very mean and we will make you feel pain and make you cry...well so thts it

Michele said...

Oh my gosh, after reading this, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! My special friend of 2 years is an Aquarius male and I am a female Sagittarius. You couldn't have described him any more accurately. These are the type of people who are very difficult to be in a relationship with, but if you can understand them, it gives a lot of answers to their unconventional behavior and quirks.

marie said...

all comments about aquarius man here are soo true.. im afraid anymore of aquarius.. lolz coz my exBF is aqua too. unemtional, unavailabe and im his last priority. when he's friends wants to play with him a basket ball, he will come easily to them like no care who they left..and when we are together he is so time conscious to go home, wtf.. what is ur problem?! sigh.. im sick and tired of aquarius man. im so fed up, that he wants me be always stays on the house. he didnt want me to go with my friends out of town coz if ill go, he'll be like acting like a child, he wont talk to you and said stuff like, ok leave me.. grrrr..

priscilla.p said...

Oh god this article is so true. I am a Aquarius female and my BF is a Aquarius male. And he is exactly like that although he is more considerate then the article states. And the afloof part of the Aquarius male being a Aquarius female is for me understanble for the fact we aare so alike. And just as a male Aquarius, I as a Aquarius female have once tried to avoid all 1-1 time with any significent other for the fact i felt somewhat uncomfortable. Just as my Aquarius BF but as long as you talk and express what you feel no matter how hard it is for the both your Aquarius mate it is somewhat nessisary. But never try to force a Aquarius into anything

priscilla.p said...

Oh god this article is so true. I am a Aquarius female and my BF is a Aquarius male. And he is exactly like that although he is more considerate then the article states. And the afloof part of the Aquarius male being a Aquarius female is for me understanble for the fact we aare so alike. And just as a male Aquarius, I as a Aquarius female have once tried to avoid all 1-1 time with any significent other for the fact i felt somewhat uncomfortable. Just as my Aquarius BF but as long as you talk and express what you feel no matter how hard it is for the both your Aquarius mate it is somewhat nessisary. But never try to force a Aquarius into anything

Jackie said...

Aquarious men.... if you ask me.... they need to grow up.... it appears they seem to think they are above everyone else and they think they do not have to adapt to any norms .... I feel sorry for them... what a lonely life....they will let go of a perfect person for them if that means they have to give up some of his annoying habits.... no thanks, never again.... me, Sagittarious. If thre's any Aquarian male outhere that is "sane" please come forward.... :)

Barrett said...

Thank you, all of you, for yur comments confirming the information presented here on males born under the Sun sign of Aquarius.

Your stories and situations touch my heart, as do your questions and soul-searching.

Corey.....thank you, especially, for ccontributing as an Aquarius male and being honest!

For those asking if they should wait around for the Aquarius male who won't make a commitment and is mistreating you, well, sadly, yes, you need to/should turn your back on him, and stay gone. There are many other men out there but you wil never be with one of them so long as you have anything to do with this intelligent (and oher good qualities) but self-absorbed man. You can do better.

marie said...

we've been together with my aqua for 3 years, he just broke up with me 2 months ago.. he broke up with me because he feels im insecure with his friends and demanding.. weve been apart for 3 yrs too, long distance relationship, i want just us to have time or atleast go to my house even an hout after he, he has all his time.. we are only neighbor, is it hard for him to do that? im still willing to give chance but he said no.. he said in out break up that he is not happy and i was like ok and then walk away. now he said to my friend that he dont see his self with me in the future.. can somebody help me? if aqua male will ever come back? we;ve been on and off 3rd times now.. pls i need advice.. or if should i let him go and forget him 27 he is 20, and im pisces. thanks

Barrett said...

Marie, read the article again very carefully and think about it in making a decision for yourself about this situation. If you are seeking insight for your personal situation you also can (look to the blog's right side) buy an email reading or make a call and get a live phone reading to ask questions and get answers.

exoticeyes said...

Omg, this article is so true! I was with an aquarius male for a year, and just broke up not even 2 days ago. He was married, and has a child ..he put me through so much, but be being a Leo,I always gave him a chance or felt sorry for the way he was.He would tell me he's so alone and his life is so messed up that he wants me gone, he doesn't want to hurt me. He always got on my nerves, and I would fight back trying to figure out what he wanted, but never really got it...after the fight he would come back himself. Even now, I'm not sure if he's gone forever...he told me if it's meant to be we will see each other again. I'm very confused and heartbroken, he deffinately changed my mind about getting married. Aquarius men can be very hurtful! What should I do now? Should I wait, or should I let it go? ....

T said...

I never knew an astrological sign could be so predictable. My Aquarian is JUST LIKE THIS! We have been dating for several months and the relationship is moving sooooo slow. I'm in no rush, but jeez! And he hardly ever calls me. Apparently this is typical of them too. I haven't decided yet if he is worth my time. I hate wondering how he feels about me. Im a Pisces and Im very emotional so its really hard for me. Everytime I get ready to just say forget it, he does something cute. But seriously its getting old.

NikkiMse1978 said...

I have known my Aquarius man for years, since we have known each other since childhood. (I am a Sagittarius).
I never thought that I would end up dating him, however, when I did see him. Family functions, weddings, or just around town, I would get this enourmous heat, that would radiate throughout my body. All the way from my head to my toes! I have never experienced this with any other man before, so for me it was a bit baffling. But, it was right.

Needless to say, we started dating. And for me it took some getting used to. As to his personality type since I had never dated anyone quite like him before! At times, his sudden change of moods would scare me and at other times his wacky ways of what he was planning for himself, his friends, his family and even me, would me laugh out loud. His ideas never ceased to amaze me. The one thing I could never deal with though was his disappearing on me when he needed his time to think. After several fights about this we finally agreed he would tell me when he needed his space.
After one of his more rougher days, and out of the blue, he broke up with me.
It was devastating to say the least, since I know I am supposed to be with this man. He just needs to figure it out too!
I did not take lightly to the break up and in the end, I stooped very low.
We ended up reconciling, however, he always mentions the past and the deed that I did. That he does forgive me, but he will never forget.
I thought we were on the road to recovery. And then out of nowhere, yet again, he tells me it is not going to work out, BUT he still love me.
His words and actions are always contradicting to one another. He may tell me he thinks its not working and then he will try to hold me and whisper in my ear that he is sorry.
It has only been 5 days since I last spoke to him, and I know that this may be one of those times where he just needs that. TIME.
However, this time to me it feels different, because I feel he may not come back.
He asked if he could call me to check in on me, and I told him no.
I explained that I accepted what he said about it not working, however he needed to respect how I feel, and to not contact me.
"If you love me, you will let me go." Does this mean I should let him go? Or will he come back as you state in your article?
I need HELP!

Nymph said...

Ughhhhh!!!!! Aquarius men = drive me insane! I am a Gemini and this just rings so true from my experience. The Aquarius male I was interested in was just like,cold,hot,cold. My nature can deal with space (I am not clingy) but seriously, they're ridiculous. I think they need to grow up and realise there is nothing scary about an intimate relationship and that their freedom will not be diminished if thats what they seek. The Aquarius male's I have dealt with are very different from the females though. I feel the males run when they feel they are becoming too close to one person, therefore, they break it off before they get in too deep for their capabilities.

cassandra said...

I am living with an Aqua male. I have been in a relationship with him for a year. After we were together for the first six months, I found out that he had gone to his ex lover twice to see if there was still a "spark". I was so furious that I slept with one of his closest buddies, not once but twice(I am Aries). He has said he forgives me, but there are times when he is moody and distant. I forgive him, but there are times when I am flirty and overtly sexual with his friends when I think about what he did.

However, I am crazy about him in a way that I have never been about anyone else before. I think it is because he always keeps me guessing. I never KNOW that I really have him. And he says he has never felt the way I make him feel. My Aries nature is so fiery and smoldering... I am a bundle of sexual energy and he can't stay away.

Some days I think we will be together forever, teasing, tormenting and tantalizing each other, and some days I think we won't last the week. It is like being on a roller coaster ride... exhilarating and scary at the same time.

My last partner was a Cancer and he almost killed me emotionally.

ebanie said...

Ias I saiid previously was with an aqua male but once he was in love with me he was overly smothering I'm a Virgo ad found that so annoying but he was one of the best boyfriends I ever had I could trust him with anythig never did I doubt a word he said or his love he was like my best friend bur I found it too easy I broke up with him for a cancerian who keeps me guessing alot more with his quiet nature but he is very bitter sweet he can be adorable then he can be a prick
When Cassandra said the cancarian killed ur emotions what do u mean

angeldust said...

i just broke up with my Aquarius boyfriend whom I'd been with for 11 years. after 11 years, he told me that the first five years were happy times, but the next six years, he wasn't at all happy being with me 'cos he felt i ignored him due to my busy schedule.

I was like "why didn't you tell me?" he said he "tried to", butI didn't "get it".

This is what I hate about Aquarius male - they don't tell you things directly and expect you to just know it, or ask them till they say it. It's ridiculous right? This sounds more like a woman to me!

Anyway, when we broke up, he said some confusing words that I don't know how I should take it/react to it:

1. "I loved you. I still love you. And I will always love you"

2. "You're the first and only girl I've ever loved and there's no second girl that has touched my heart until now"

3. "You're the prettiest girl I've ever met. And you still are."

4. "But we just can't get along"

5. "As of now, I don't want to be with you anymore."

So, what does he really mean? Is there a chance to get back together when he is "ready"?

I am so confused I don't know if I should wait or I should just move on. I really love him very very very much and it is killing me to hear him say all these words when he want to break up....

please help. someone please....

marie said...

hi angeldust..

well, all i can say was.. haha.. my Xbf broke uo with me too and said the things like, he still love me.. always have space in his heart, bla bla yadada.. well as for now all i can advice is just let it be.. try to move on, if he comes back, then good.. if doesnt atleast u try to moved on.. well, in my experienced it was hell coaster ride with him for 3 years.. its really up to u, if u want to get him back, beg him, say sorry, if you can swallow your pride.. think million times.. good LUCK.. take it easy.

angeldust said...

hi marie,

my case is worse. it was not a simple case of break-up. i think my ex-bf is confused about his sexuality.

he accidentally left his facebook on today and i took a peak at the messages.

FYI: he just returned from a business trip to a nearby city.

in one of the correspondences with a boy from this city, there were many "i missed you", "how i wish i could stay", "want to bring you home" kind of wordings from my ex-bf to this boy.

he did tell me abt this boy, but stop short of the details. apparently, my ex-bf lost his way and this boy actually drove him around, trying to get my ex-bf back to his hotel. and my ex-bf was really touched at the action and how a stranger actually went thru so much for another stranger. (yeah, now i seriously think my ex-bf is gay, since when has a guy been touched so easily?)

that was all my ex-bf said.

but i guess it was more than that... and now, he's putting up a secret code on his updates everyday to say how much he missed this boy.

oh gosh! how sad is my life! and to think i actually want to get back with such a confused guy?

no doubt he is really wonderful, but i guess, he is just really not sure what he wants.

time to move on, seriously. i'm not thinking twice anymore. i hope i am firm enough this time.

wish me luck gals~

Katherine said...

Im a gemini girl, and i have been shocked by this description... As i was browsing real Facts about the Hot-Cold Aquaman. 100% True. Now more than ever i feel that i want this relationship over. Is been a great experience honestly,but im sick and tired of the ups and downs this surprising individual could make you go through. If you are a woman sad about sad about aquaman ... Remember that you come first! (To the author : Great Article !)

Rohit said...

Im an Aquarius male, mid-twenties, from India. I have had 3 relationships in the past. In each of them, the woman has experienced and expressed feelings that she has had with no man before, and that she always dreamt of. In each relation, it was me who broke it. I feel terrible about them, especially when the reasons aren't of any significance. Is it my Aquarian nature? I am more rational,scientific,and so called 'intellectual' typical of an Aquarian, but why can't I get the point when I have to maintain a steady relationship? I am scared. Will I be able to sustain a married life? I know the value of marriage. But will be faithful to the institution of marriage against being faithful to the wife herself? Yikes, I hate thinking about such stuff.
But I know one thing for sure, ladies, that we Aquarians can truly keep you happy, to the extend of saying that our love can be greater than all the zodiac signs put together....but for how long? Beats me too.
If only we were understood better, then half the women here would be cherishing their Aquarian male.
With love,

William said...

What can I write? I hate to admit this but I am the unevolved, selfish Aquarius man you write about. I have f*cked up everything. I am 30 and my life is shattered. My economy is ruined. I have lost respect in my family and worst I now realise I have lost the woman I love. I know what I can do to get a job with a good salary and fix my economy, but it is the matter of the woman I am in love with that is the big problem. Can you counsel me on how I can get her back, which will also help to fix my family relationships?

I have read this blog article many times in the last year and told myself that it is not me although I have the Aquarius traits you write here. You are very good at this and have exactly described me: my philosophy about life and the way I have treated (mistreated?) the woman I love and who loved me. I hope she will still find love in her heart for me.

For 4 years I played with her emotionally and did everything I could to keep our relationship secret. I denied we had a relationship. I hid her from my family and from other people. I treated girls I only wanted as casual acquaintances better than I treated the woman I loved. I was satisfied to have people think I was involved with a girl whose “friendship” I have only used for selfish reasons – knowing that girl has a crush on me and is a manipulator. I used that same girl to play emotional games to hurt the woman I love so she would keep her distance and I would not need to commit emotionally. I did not want to deal with my feelings. On the outside I was a cold and sarcastic b*stard. I have lied a lot, mostly through omission, as you write. I unfairly started talking about marriage and then like a coward I changed my mind.

In the last few years I have been living a lie. I am always worried about money and am socially disconnected now because of it. I pretend to people that I am living the high life. I just used that girl again and felt dishonest the whole time.

I have been thinking for over a week about things because the woman I love is now talking to a (male) cousin and I am afraid they will start dating. I tried to scare her off. I told her not to talk to anyone in my family. I lied to my family and while I told them I have feelings for her and would do something about it, I only said it so they would leave me alone.

The thing is, I think my cousin and the woman I love will marry. I admit it. I am jealous. I am angry and I am jealous. It is like they say, I only realized how valuable she is and how deeply I am in love with her and that I want to marry her, after she left me. She returned my stuff and walked away after 4 years.

I do not know what I can say to her to get her to believe me if I say I have changed. She wants to be married, to have a family. She bought a wedding gown. She has dream wedding. I denied her all this with my mistreatment and emotional games. She wanted to do all these things, to build a life with me. She knew me, good and bad and still loved me. I love her but I was afraid I would not have a life but now I see the great life was with her. I was too stupid to see I had the best woman in the world and now I have lost her.

I am going to ask my family for a job and the money for an engagement ring and the wedding she wants. I can improve my economy and support us. How can I as an Aquarius man convince her I am not full of sh*t and playing a game with her? How do I convince her to just talk to me, hear me out and let me make it all up to her? I want to propose marriage to her, to give her the ring and the wedding and the life I should have given her before now. I am scared. I would marry her tomorrow if she would just give me one last chance. I am 30 and alone and lonely. I f*cked it all up. I

Help me get her back. Please.

Aquarius Male Idiot

Barrett said...


Re-read your post. FIrst you admit you have a problem, then you end by saying that women need to "understand" Aquarius men better. LOL, no, they do not. You are showing that you know you are the person in your relationships who has the problem, and then you try to charmingly blame it on the women. You are imbalanced and stuck in intellect. You are lacking in the ability to express emotional intimacy and you are fearful of relationships because they committment and emotional intimacy. I am sure you are a nice person, and many think you are great...but if you really want to get married, you must change. Authentic connection with others only comes when you are authentic and that means opening yourself emotionally and treating others with the same humane behavior with which you expect to be treated. In a love relationship, it means being open, not playing intellectual games and being charming. You are understood quite well; you put a lot of energy into getting a woman to open up (a false intimacy) and then you run away and as the article notes, you try to have her believe it is her fault. You clearly show emotional fear about marriage, as though going in it has a limited shelf life or back door ("how long?"). You may be a nice guy but stop fooling yourself regarding relationshipsIt's about making a rational, logical decision to be an emotionally mature man, and not a boy.

Barrett said...


To use your phrase, what can I write? Four years? That is a lot of emotional unhealthiness. Because of your age, I can likely safely assume you are in your Saturn Return (in Libra) and marriage to this woman you love is the thing you are supposed to do to demonstrate the transition to manhood/adulthood.

Clearly you know the problem and it sounds like you have badly hurt this woman you love. Sometimes it is not possible to get someone to trust you again after you have hurt them. Sometimes you must work hard and long to earn their trust again. If the woman is no longer in love with you, maybe you can and maybe you can't re-kindle that love. Why should she believe you? If you really love her, why do you not want her to be happy, even if it is with your cousin?

Five suggestions: ONE: stop your fake association with the manipulative girl. Why are you fooling around with a "girl" when you know you have someone in your life you love who is a "woman"? TWO: stop lying to your family about her and other things. THREE: ask the woman you love to talk to you then BEG, long and hard. Dignity has no place here. You acted like a dog (which you admit). You need to be willing to do anything to win her back, no matter how long it takes. FOUR: if you get her back, bring her to meet you family and stop lying to htem. FIVE: marry her as immediately as she would like and circumstances allow. Four years is absurd and cruel.

If you have the ability to win this woman back, you need to make every day of the rest of her life a blessed one where she never, ever has reason to regret you again. If you are telling the truth about marrying her tomorrow, then marry her tomorrow. Otherwise you are lying again and being the kind of person you described.

If you won't do those five things, let her be happy with your cousin.

Nicole said...

Rohit & William-
As each of you are on totally opposite sides of the Aquarius mindsetI have a comment for each of you.
I have dated an Aquarius-and in my opinion they are the most tricky of the male zodiac signs.
Rohit-you state that females need to get to know your sign better? The thing is we do, however it is not just us that needs to be in touch with you, you need to be in touch with you. Your feelings and lack of expression of them mainly. The world would be far more harmonius if you could share just the slightest bit with any/all the woman you are dating. It is calld compassion and empathy.
William-I am happy to see that you finally came to the realization that the woman you have hurt is the woman you have loved all along. I hope she forgives you for your mistreatment of her and that once you do have her, you do not let her go. Woman are creatures who like to be cared for, if only by the right person, so if she does let you into her world again, you better get on your hands and knees and thank her. And actually follow through on your words.
I could go on and on, about Aquarius men, however, I will not. I am not bitter, just baffled by their behaivor.
Lessons have been learned and I hope for the two of you you each learn yours.
Good luck!

Rohit said...

Barrett and Nicole,
Thanks for your advice. What is lacking strongly in me is quite clear, in one word, "emotions". And I say stongly because I do have emotions and understand them but they just aren't strong enough to be accepted. I am beginning to bring around that change in me. Look at life, relationships, friendships differently, not analytically, but with emotion, compassion, empathy, and probably the most critical of 'em - committment. It' not going to be my way or the highway, it's going to be our way.

g said...

I also found your article to be very true. I was wondering, how important are the other aspects of the birth chart in how "aquarius" a man can be? My ex boyfriend (of three days) has a Libra rising and a Venus in Leo. How important are those?

I hope that you see this question because I noticed that this article is a few years old....You were so accurate and insightful that I would love to hear what you have to say.

We broke up after four years because I have emotional outbursts and frequently give him problems for not calling back soon enough, etc...I have a lot of anxiety and I take it out on him, really whenever I think about it I'm fine with him being alone when he needs to, or not available 24 hours a day. I also have a nine year old, and they love each other and are very attached. We do not live together(I live in the suburbs and my grandparents live with my daughter and me, he lives twenty minutes away in the city), and I want to become less anxious and less prone to take out my dark side on him. I really don't mind that he wants to be alone and read or think, and I want to show him that, but I'm afraid this time might be too late. I hope he hasn't made up his mind for good, since we were working through it for so long and I have made improvements over the years consciously. I always apologize afterwards too, but this time my apology didn't change his mind. Otherwise we love each other, and nothing else bad has happened. I want him to be in my life, he's my best friend and I want to be his lover too. I know that I can accept him as he is in my heart, and I need help with general anxiety but think that that will lessen the more that focus on myself. I love him and I miss him. What are the best things that I can do to show him that I can relax? I haven't called him since we broke up, and this time he asked for his keys. I really want to know how to show him i'm sorry.

Barrett said...

Hello G.

You need to re-read the article very carefully and take some deep breaths. Then read what you wrote. You have allowed this Aquarian ex-boyfriend to manipulate you into thinking that you are inadequate and need help because of his problematic peronality and behavior. You are apologizing to him when he has emotionally agbused you -- and that is a form of domestic violence. WHy are you apologizing to him and sekeing his forgiveness when he is emotionally blocked off from you? WHile he may be brilliant and charming, he does not sound very mature and he sounds abusive in intimate relationships because he cannot and will not and express normal emotions.

Specifically to answer your question -- YES all signs, houses, planets and aspects matter in oudual charts. Surely transiting Saturn in Libra is affecting him now if he has a Libra Ascendant, and if he has Venus in Leo, all teh transits that have occurred in Aquarius in the last decade have opposed his Venus.

But do not make excuses for this cold, emotionally cruel Aquarius male. Look for a healthier relationship. Four years? You should be married. Four years? He gives you the silent treatment and doesn't call you back? Move on. Give him an ultimatum if you think he is still worth the time. But even before you do that, pack your emotional bags and (be prepared to) move on. Escape from Crazyland!! I see very little chance for a future with this man.

Calypso said...

Hi all,

I’m a Libra , and I have known this Aquarius guy for just one year. He is a single father of two kids. When we first met, is through a social platform. It was very fun, full of laughter, we met, we clicked with each other.

But after the meet up, he seems to be a bit different. We only being in contact sometimes, and it is always me who will start the conversation.

I have try to understand their nature of flirting with other girls. After we met, he keeps his flirting session with others. There is one girl whom I’ve seen her facebook to be really in love with him. Then i sent him a message saying that, maybe I’m not good enough for him, so I’ll better make a move.

I was heartbroken at that moment to leave him, while i still need him. Then after a month, i wish him on his birthday. He reply to the wish and say thanks for the wishes. After that our relationship seems to restore to the normal condition.

Then on Valentine’s day, i did not have the guts to wish him i love him cause i knew that i should not rush him in this kind of thing. But to my surprise, early morning on Valentine’s day, he wishes me and say that he loves me. I find it hard to believe and I’m so speechless.

I couldn’t be more happier than that day. Months to months our relationship have ups and downs. Right now he seems busy flirting with others. When we have any issues, he seems to keep quiet, he didn’t sound a thing. He always keep quiet although i know he can say whatever he like. But when it comes to me, whenever we had a fight, he opt to keep quiet.

Then a few weeks back, he seems to have a problem. I sent him a BBM saying that if he need someone to talk too, i will always be there for him or if he likes to keep it to himself, it will be fine for me.

Then suddenly he deletes me from his BBM list and refuses to answer me when i ask if i did anything wrong when i sent him the BBM. He kept quite till now.

I just don’t know what to do. I am deeply in love with him.

Any advice?

Thanks in advance.

Eri said...

i married an aquarian male this year weve been together four yrs i let himm chase me the first yr then i decided to let him in he became my sons dad then we had a daughter together his one and only best friend died it was horrible it tore us both up really bad he finally decided that it was time to get married so we did it was great until about 6 months later i found him chating inappropriatly with another woman on facebook i confronted him he couldnt deny it i caught him red handed i threatened to leave but i didnt now im not saying hes the only one at fault im just worried that im wasting my time should i leave or try and work it out?

Jackie said...

Well.... I read all these comments about the Aquarius male and this is my opinion :
In the end, he is just a man and we should take it just as that . He's behavior shouldn't be justified by the sign he is under. It comes to personal maturity and we shouldn't forget that.
I have dated a couple of them and the first one, I did say my good byes even it if was very painful because he wanted to party around while being engaged to me.

The 2nd one, totally different even if they are just a day apart in their birthdays. Very nice, very attentive, very passionate, although I see similar tendencies, while he goes away for business, he likes to party and he has his share of female coworkers friends.

He is constantly in touch with me during the day, only if he goes away, things change.
The other day , after one of his trips I told him I had doubts we shall continue our relationship since he doesn't make me a priority when he has a different set of "audience". He was very apologetic and ask me do not break it up and he was looking forward for us going to the next step, which is moving in together.

My point is, yes, they do have certain characteristics, but that is not going to give them the right to treat me badly.

I have learned, doesn't matter how much we love them, there is always another love waiting for us if we don't take BS from these Aquarian males that they seem to know very well what we may "expect " of them. They have read all about their sign , if they do not care enough for us, they will put in into practice.

So good luck Ladies and stay put. If they care enough for you, they will comply , if not, let them go .... the sooner the Better....